I think we already took the one trip we will never be able to recreate

many years ago shortly after covid lockdown, my boyfriend (now husband) and i took our first trip together to hawaii. It was relatively a short flight for us and it wasn’t a fancy one. we booked the earliest 7am flight, stayed in a reasonably priced airbnb, and spent a week just exploring.

since then, we have traveled a lot more, partially because I want to get ready for parenthood knowing that how much it will change my life. motels, luxury resorts, domestic trips, international trips etc. we’ve even gone back to hawaii again. but none of them felt like the first trip. not even our honeymoon (though our honeymoon was super delayed due to logistics so it feels more like a regular vacation)

i recently sat down and realized that we probably will never recreate that feeling no matter how hard i try. for a few reasons:

1. we had been only dating for half a year at that time and we were in our “honeymoon phase”

2. it was right after covid lockdown so my husband, who’s usually less into travel, was also so excited

3. we were younger with less baggages

4. probably the biggest, timing was perfect. my husband was having a job that is a lot more chill, so he doesn’t need to do that much preparation before the trip and work crazy after the trip to catch up. i was in between jobs, and just got a job offer that i already accepted. we were both completely relaxed, which can’t happen now anymore

now life looks different. a lot more pressure and responsibilities. we are also older now. with kid(s) coming in near future life probably will also change drastically. not a sad post or anything because i am lucky enough to be able to travel, but i just miss that trip and that time of my life so much lol